Feeling Pain Versus Feeling Numb | Why I'd Rather Feel Pain

Ang
Dec 30, 2017
2 min read

I have to start off by saying that I am not against medications nor do I doubt that they can be beneficial.

There absolutely are situations where pharmaceuticals are necessary and have saved people's lives. I'm not denying that.

But I also know that people turn to prescription drugs because of situational stresses.

I broke down yesterday. An element of my life is causing me so much stress that it's almost unbearable. It was suggested to them that I consider getting a prescription to help me while I make other changes in my life.

I considered it and then I started weighing the pros and cons in my head. Here is what I came up with:

Pros:

- I won't feel anxiety

Cons:

- Because I will feel comfortable, I may stay in a situation that is not good for me

- Numbness is a side effect of these medications. I may lose my sense of empathy which is a huge component of who I am. It is my gift that I desire to share with the world. Losing empathy would be like losing myself.

- With numbness comes a loss of intuition. I feel anxiety of certain things on my life because I am not in my element. Or rather, that element is not right for me. I have anxiety because my intuition is pointing me in another direction. I need to be able to listen.

I am a very intuitive person. I know when a situation is not right for me. My intuition almost literally pulls me in a certain direction. It is impossible to ignore.

I have anxiety because certain elements of my life are not fulfilling and are not my calling. Yes, medications would stop the anxiety. But my anxiety is the reason for this blog, the reason I'm going back to school, the reason I'm holding on to my Spirituality more than ever before. If I take medications, I will become comfortable (which is the goal of these drugs) but I may also lose the desire to make changes in my life.

People often choose medications to numb themselves so they can "get through life". It's so sad that the majority of people don't realize they can create whatever reality they desire. Everyone deserves a free life. One where they can do whatever they want everyday. A life where they don't have to ask permission to have a sick day or go on vacation. A life where you create their own schedule.

It's attainable! But you need to be comfortable feeling uncomfortable.

If I wasn't miserable, I wouldn't be making changes.

I want to experience everything life has to offer. The good and the bad. And the bad are usually both lessons and blessing. Most people just can't see this while the bad is happening.

Be open, be fearless, be vulnerable and let yourself feel.

Ang